Deciding to go through a divorce will be one of the most challenging decisions you will have to make in your adult life. You have made a commitment to your spouse that is no longer able to stay intact. While divorce is a decision that should not be made lightly, once the decision has been made, you should consider the following tips to make sure the conversation with your spouse goes as well as it can. Be prepared for a lot of push back and confusion from your spouse as they have not had the thought process that you have had to this point. You need to make sure this conversation will go as well as it can so they can actually “hear” what you are trying to communicate.
WHEN YOUR CALM
The first thing to consider when having the talk is the mood of when the talk will take place. You want to pick a time that is not stressful or where you feel rushed to get through the conversation. Having the home or the place where you have the talk be a place that is peaceful will go a long way to making sure your spouse is open to hearing what you have to say. This will allow both parties to concentrate on the topic rather than the environment.
WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME
The second element you should consider is making sure you are not rushed in your conversation. You want to make sure your calendar is cleared for a bit so that both you and your spouse can talk through the divorce idea and any potential emotion that will arise. Allowing enough time will be beneficial as you can both process the idea and begin to accept it. A good place to start is the beginning of weekend so you have a few days off to talk it through without the stress of the work week hanging over you.
HAVE A PLAN AND A REASON
A third factor to consider is to have a clear and rationale plan of what you want to communicate during your talk. You need to have a plan of what you want to say and why you want to say it in order to you can communicate what you need without letting the emotions get the best of you. If you have clear reasons of why you want to get a divorce with some examples of why this is a consideration then your spouse will be more receptive to you.
Lastly, remember to be kind. This is an idea that you have had in your mind for some time but your spouse may not have been thinking about it. If you start the process with kindness and dignity then you will be more apt to have a more civil divorce proceeding. Even if your spouse does not respond in the same way, if you are kind then you will show your attorney, opposing counsel and the judge that you are the one being kind, which will ultimately put you in a better light.
Going through a divorce is challenging. Deciding to have the talk with your spouse is also equally challenging. You should consider all of your options before you move to this point. You should consult legal counsel from an experienced divorce attorney, like those at Andrews and Arbenz. We are equipped to provide you the advice you need in order the make the best decisions possible during a divorce.