How Divorce Effects You

Going through a divorce can be challenging and will impact the lives of those involved in many pronounced and nuanced ways. If you are going through a divorce and have children going through it with you consider the following items to help make the process a bit easier.


One of the most difficult issues in a divorce will be who will get custody of the children. A small aspect of this discussion will be where will the kids stay during important holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s day and other important family holidays can be challenging when you have to make sure you are in agreement with a parenting plan established by the court. This usually means that your holiday traditions that you have become used to while you were married need to be altered to fit your life as a single parent, as well as your children who are spending their holiday celebrating with both parents separately. So as you plan for life after marriage be mindful of how these important days will need to change and how you can keep them special for yourself and your children while you share the children with your former spouse.


One of the more common challenges that come with a divorce is from the transition from one parent to another. This happens when a child spends time with one parent then has to switch to the other parent. This is challenging in two ways. First, as a parent you have to adjust to not having the children in your home for the agreed upon time. This can be difficult during the first few days as you miss have them in your home. Second, this transition is hard on the children. They may find that each parent has different expectations and rules that they require to be followed. With one parent the rules may be more strict, and the children are expected to follow a very structured daily routine. While with the other parent, the children may be allowed to eat more junk food, stay up later and have a generally more relaxed environment. This can be confusing to children as they go from one home to another. This is where having good communication with your former spouse will be key. By working to have similar parentings standards and helping each child transition to each home can help the children thrive.

Change in World View

Another major shift that can happen to the children of a divorce would be a change in world view. As a child you may believe that nothing “bad” exists in the world and that is because of your family environment. However, when a divorce occurs a child realizes that the world is quite different then what they originally thought. They may think about problems, family members and even themselves in a different light. This change in world view is a dramatic new way of looking at the world and the problems in it and can be difficult for children to process in the months after the divorce.

While many people all over the world get a divorce to put to rest their differences in the marriage union, making this change is still an impactful one. If you have children, it is even more impactful. There are numerous obstacles and challenges that you and your children will face going through a divorce. While the ultimate goal is to avoid divorce to prevent these impactful factors for our children, at times a divorce is the only course of action. At Andrews & Arbenz we strive to represent each client with grace, honor and dignity as they process through this major life change. We are a Tacoma divorce attorney firm that looks out for your best interest in these trying times so that you can be successful in your transition into post marriage life. If you are going through a divorce or need legal counsel to support you as you start the divorce process contact us today so we can see how we can best support you.